panic attack

I am writing this on Tuesday, 26th of February 2019. I am at home and it is close to midnight. My wonderful wife and kids are sleeping. I am not.

I was on my way to work this morning and my mind went totally blank. I didn’t know where I was, who I was and where I was going. I was just scared. This lasted for 5min and then I realised I was scared of going to work.

I went back home and since then have been in bed. Doing nothing. I was actually sleeping like a baby. I felt relieved that I had finally given up. I lied to my wife that I didn’t feel well. She didn’t believe me but left me alone and took care of the kids.

I am typing this while she is lying next to me in bed. I am crying while I type this. I have been crying a lot over the last 12 months.

Not exactly sure what to do.

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